Search Me, Know Me
When was the last time that you marveled at God’s wisdom in the way He perfectly designed you? When was the last time you considered how intimately God is involved in every aspect of your life? Or when was the last time you found comfort in God’s sure plans for your future?
I know that I easily forget those things. I complain about the way God created me rather than thanking Him. I try to do life on my own, ignoring God’s presence with me throughout each day. And I fear the future rather than finding rest in knowing that God holds my future.
This morning in my school’s chapel, we wrapped up a series on Divine Design. How fitting that the main text was Psalm 139. What a precious Psalm! In it, David speaks to the reality of God’s presence and guidance in the lives of His children. I needed this reminder today.
Psalm 139:1-5 O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
God knows me. He actually knows me. He knows every part of me, from my daily routines to my deepest thoughts and desires. He pursues me, He holds me close, and His hand covers me. More than any friend this world could offer, God has a deeply personal, invested relationship with me. More than anyone could even care, God studies my every move; He is “acquainted with all my ways.”
This is not a God who is far away, removed from His people. This is a God who is close at hand, who is accessible. This is Jehovah; this is my Creator God. This is the God who spoke the world into being, and whose gracious presence I cannot escape.
Psalm 139:7-12 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
God’s presence is both a comfort and a warning. A comfort, because I desperately need God in my life. I desperately need to know that wherever I may go in life, and whatever I may do, I will never go beyond God’s presence. He will always be there with me.
But God’s presence is also a warning, because He who searches hearts knows all about my heart. He sees my struggles, my temptations, my failures. At times, I feel like crawling into the closet or curling up under the covers in an effort to escape the scrutiny of God in my life, because I know what He’ll find when He looks at me. But I can’t even intentionally step away from God’s presence. And when I confess and forsake my sin, He is always right there to welcome me back into fellowship with Him.
Psalm 139:13-16 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Not because of who I am, but because of who my Creator is. He carefully, delicately, intricately created me. Even before my birth, God had a plan and a purpose for my life. What can I even do but exclaim with the psalmist, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.” I can’t understand every aspect of God’s involvement in my life—but I can choose to believe that His Word is true. I can’t understand my role in God’s plan—but I can choose to trust that He will be faithful to His own. He will be faithful to me.
Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!